The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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