I wannas sexs uuuuu
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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