i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize