Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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