Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize