So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize