Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize