can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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