ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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