i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize