good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
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how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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