i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
my liver is dry heaving
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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