Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
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he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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