Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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