Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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