No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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