just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize