I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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