sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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