Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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