I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
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