Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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