ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize