This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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