She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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