to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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