Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The uberlube is also flammable
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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