Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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