You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize