just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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