Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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