Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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