actually, I'm a sock model
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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