Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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