No subtext here. People are naked.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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