Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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