he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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