so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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