I wannas sexs uuuuu
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize