you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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