So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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