remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
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The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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