she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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