I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize