The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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