Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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