I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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