YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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