you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I skipped work to stalk him.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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