he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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